Wednesday, January 20, 2010
This is one of my favorite worship songs, Love Song, by Jason Morant. It is one of those songs that sweeps your heart away in worship. It reminds you to be in awe of the majesty of God.
When Darin and I were serving in our first church in south Texas we were stuck in the middle of a worship struggle. People were complaining about the different styles of worship. This is not new to churches. To me this one was worse because when we came to the church they had a hand full of hymns that they played over and over because that was the the former piano player knew and it became the way of life. I hated that worship had become a point of contention and anger. I just wanted to be free to worship and wanted people to be authentic in it. It did not matter to me how you worshiped just that you did it with an open heart to God not a ritual to get through so you could check it off for the week. We sat in a meeting one day with the deacons due to more complaints and one of them asked me, "Well we don't have to stand up for all of the songs and why is it nessisary for you to raise your hands when you sing." First off the question frusterated me because this man's heart was not in the right place, his agenda was to fight for keeping the things the same. But I was frusterated with myself because I had no answer. In my heart I did not want to do something out of rebelion or show. I just wanted to worship Jesus and feel his presence. Then I was frusterated with myself because I had no answer for why I raised my hands in worship. I went home that day and began to pray about it. I asked God to give me wisdom in this and show me the answer. The next day I was sitting in my office cleaning it. I had praise music going and a song struck me so deeply as I sang it that I had to stop and worship. I was all alone in my office and was free to sing as loudly as I wanted and raise my hands with out question. I heard a little chirpy voice behind me ask, "Mama what you doin'?" It was Dalton, my son, who was two at the time. He came and sat beside me. Then the answer hit me. "Well, Mommy is reaching to God. You know when you get scared, or sad, or you just want to see things up high and you raise your hands for mommy to pick you up?" He nodded. "Well Mommy is reaching up to God because she wants to be picked up." He shut his little eyes and threw his hands up in the air and started singing, "We reachin' to God, we reachin' to God." as he swayed back and forth. This will alway be one of my favorite memories of a moment as a mom.