Sunday Night Confessions-Posted on Monday

Yes, I know that it is Monday and I was so tired last night I did not have time to blog.  We have got to get into a better night time routine around our house with school starting soon.  My youngest two would not go to sleep last night! Grrrrr!  Yesterday in Sunday School our teacher Tricia asked us what we would do for God if we were not afraid? Then we had to get into groups and talk about it! It was neat because my group was my brother and his wife Jenny .  Jenny knows everything about me so as we talked I did not have to explain a lot.  I consider myself a risk taker and a bold person.  I am not afraid to meet people, talk to people or ask for what I need.  I have the mentality of "If you don't ask then you will never know."  But I have a lot of deep rooted fear that this question helped me dig into.  I am on the brink of having my biggest dream fulfilled and I am scared out of my mind!!!! I have wanted to be a Mary Kay sales director since I joined 14 years ago.  I mean it brings tears to my eyes I want it so bad.  To be a Mary Kay Sales director is the epitome of everything I want to be.  They are feminine, beautiful, strong leaders.  Not everyone gets to be one but it's open to anyone who wants to work hard enough to get it.  At Mary Kay events they are set a part and honored.  They have a huge platform to teach, speak and inspire other women.  The amount of income potential that a Mary Kay sales director can have is matched to Cooperate America and they don't have to sacrifice their families, motherhood or beliefs for it.  Plus, they have the most fashion forward suits that are designed for them each year and they can earn the use of the pink Cadillac.  I could work for other companies and I have been approach by every home based business that has come up over the years.  But Mary Kay is me.  It is a Christ centered company that is feminine and glamorous and so pro women. Plus, HELLO PINK CADILLAC!  It takes four months and certain qualifications to become a Sales Director and I am in my last month and I am TERRIFIED!  I finished the Queens Court of Sales two years ago and earned my 1st diamond ring.  I earned the use of my 1st car two years ago too.  But this is the hardest thing I have ever done because I have to trust others with my dream and include them in on it too.  In sales it is all on me.  I can sell this product in my sleep and have built a large clientele.  But my dream is now tied up into people recruiting under me and helping them reach their dreams.  That is where I realized my deep rooted fear lies.  I don't want to risk being disappointed in people who are not women of their words.  It is so hard for me to invest in people and they walk away.  It is hard to take someone at their word and then they let you down.  I usually do things myself because I don't want to risk being disappointed in people.  Nor do I want to be a disapointment to others.  I don't want to recruit an awesome person and dream with them and then they disappear from your life with no word.  I have to fight myself not to focus on all of the team members who did not keep their word and focus on the ones that did.  It is hard to be excited after being let down.  The last two months of qualifications have been an range of emotions and it has been difficult to risk running full speed ahead again.  But then I had a thought the other day that I have taken as my mantra, "Do not let the people who do not keep their word, stop me from seeking to find the ones that do."  I have some awesome women on my team that have rallied around my goal and begun to form goals of their own.  If not for Mary Kay and seeking them out I would not have them in my life.  I have to keep asking and seeking because I do not know who God is going to place in front of me that I was too discouraged to talk to.  It like what Mary Kay herself taught us, "Some will, some won't, so what."  I know that this is from my point of view from my little pink bubble, but it applies to life.  We have all been hurt in relationships and it can make us shut down and not reach out again.  It can make us perceive others as a threat.  But if we entrust our hearts to our heavenly father and allow him to lead us into fellowship with others then we are enriched and able to be used for his kingdom.  I can not pray for God to enlarge my territory if I do not embrace every opportunity he places in front of me.  My passion is reaching women.  If I can make a women feel more beautiful, more confident and learn who she is in Christ then that is all I could want.  My biggest accomplishment ever in my Mary Kay career is the two women who accepted Christ from a Skincare class.  It is a magical thing.  Through lipsticks and rouge women can be empowered and find a relationship with Jesus Christ.  When I put my fear in that light a what is little disappointment and frusteration? In the end it is all worth the risk.

So Inspired! Feature Friday

I have been in the middle of qualifications to becoming a director with Mary Kay.  So there has not been a lot of blogging time.   The last few month have been a wave of emotions, stress and big stories of victory.  God has been teaching me through his word about diligence and persistence as a growth of faith.  I will be blogging about my thoughts over the next few post.  But before I can have perseverance I have to have motivation.  I just got back from Seminar and I have to tell you how much I LOVE Seminar every year! It was fun going this year because I was a size smaller and had an entire new look.

Today I want to feature a new friend of mine Joy. Joy was the Queen last year of our National area and in the Queen's Court of Sales for the Saphire Seminar top 20! After talking with Joy I learned that the year she did this she had survived a brain tumor and home schooled three young children, two with disabilities.  She has one with autism and one with anger issues. As I talked with her I thought, "So what was my excuse now?"  Here is the picture of the top three with our National Sales Director in her last Seminar before retirement. 

This year Joy came back to Seminar and had not only done the Queen's Court of Sales again but now was the number two in Sales for the entire Saphire Seminar.  The Queen was not in attendance at Seminar and Joy got to give a speech. In it she thanked her family and talked about each of her children and what they had taught her.  Her oldest has taught her patience because of all the needs of her younger siblings.  She spoke of how proud she was of her.  Then she explained how her son with autism and taught her what persistence and determination looked like and thanked him for his positive attitude.  It was what she said about her last one with the anger issues.  She talked about how much she loved him and how even when things got broken in her home that God was using that to teach her not to be materialistic over earthly things.  Having three strong willed children all 8 and younger and a husband who works long hours, I thought these were good excuses as to why I had not completed all of my goals.  After getting to know Joy I need to make my children my reasons not my excuses. 

Seminar really inspired me this year and I thought I would share this years goals:

Finish Directorship Sept.1!!!

Complete the Queens Court of Sales top 20! Selling $50,000 this year!

Queen of Recruiting in the Saphire Seminar with 50 new qualified team members!

$300,000 Unit Club with my new unit!

These are some big goals but I a ready to grow and see God show up in a big way!

Thank You Jenny Childress!

My blog background disappeared and I did not have the patience to work on it.  My friend Jenny offered to help fix it and she fixed it up too! Now she is on a mission to look for me a zebra print.  I am redoing my office in Zebra and hot pink and it is my theme for Mary Kay this year.  Thank you Jenny for offering to help. You did a great job.

5 Question Friday

I have not played the 5 Question Friday in a while and I thought I would this week.  The older two kids are at VBS at our church and I have a few free moments before it is time to go pick them up.  I have been crazy with qualifications for Mary Kay right now that I have not had much time to blog.  I have missed it but I have huge goals to finish this month and next.  Other than keeping house, running after three kids and trying to work out it there is not a lot of time left to blog.  I could not find the link button on her site but you can play along with Mama M by clicking here. http://fivecrookedhalos.blogspot.com/2010/07/five-question-friday-71610.html She has a really cute blog I like to follow.

1. Do you collect anything?

I use to collect Gone with the Wind memorabilia.  I since moving from having it all over my highschool bedroom to having my own house. I did not have much space left for Scarlett and Rhett.  I have started a small collection of Twilight things since that is my new favorite set of books and movies.  I now collect jewelry crosses.  I love the ones I have gotten so far.  For Christmas I have copied my mother and started collecting Santa's to decorate with.
2. Name 3 celebrities that you find good looking.

When I was a teen I loved Chris Odonell and Kirk Cameron.  I just dated myself as a teen in the 90's.  Now there are several that I think are handsome but I like them when they are in character  not in normal life. (If that makes any sense.)  Number 1 would be Robert Pattinson when he is Edward. (Eclipse finally got him looking like the story book Edward.  Orlando Bloom when he is Legolas and in Pirates.  In normal day dress he is not "clean cut" enough for my taste. 
I think Zack Efforn is the cutest.  But I should pick someone out of their 20's right? It's my blog and I can do what I want. :)

3. Do you have any scars? If so, what's the story behind it (them?)?

I have one in my eyebrow where the hair does not grow.  I have to use brow gel to cover it up.  It is from when I was five and my three year old little brother was killing ants with a crow bar and I looked over is shoulder to see what he was doing.  He never he knew he hit me.  Now my question is where he got the crowbar and where our parents were at the time?

4. What is a food that you like to eat, but others might think it's gross or weird?

I like to dip french fries in a chocolate milkshake.  I don't think that is weird.  I also like to dip potato chips in ketchup. 

5. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life?

Not really.  I was in Belton when the big tornado hit Jarell Texas back in 1998 I think.  It's about 15 minutes north.  We had tornado's touch down in Temple, Belton and North Austin.  I just could not leave class due to the storm. 

Wordless Wed.

My favorite of all of the pictures I took on the 4th of July.

My Little Man

Dalton has been at his Aunt Wee's house since last Friday.  He will not be home until Tuesday and I miss him!  He is 8 now and thinks he is grown.  He is in heaven with my teenage nephews! He is in guy land full of Halo, Guitar Hero and I am sure plenty of burping and farting jokes.  He has hung with the big boys all week and I can tell when I talk to him on the phone.  He called me a punk for going to see Eclipse with out him and wanted to know all about the wolves and the Harry Potter preview that I saw!  He must have felt so grown getting to go see Toy Story 3 in 3D with his 19 & 16 year old cousins.  I fully warned them to buckle him up, not let him go to the theater bathroom on his own and not to let him wander off by himself.  I know that I was 19 when I use to take these two boys on outings when they were 6 & 4 but, girls view things differently.  When warning my nephew about this, he jokingly buts in with, "So the beer I bought to give him is out?"  Just wait until this nephew has a kids of his own and we will see how he feels. 

Speaking of the whole bathroom thing, I have a question to pose to other mother's of boys out there.  Dalton is 8 now and does not want to go into the restroom with me when we are in public.  I get that, but I am just not ready to send my 8 year old little boy into the big men's bathroom all on his own.  We have all heard the horror stories and what can happen to little boys in men's bathrooms.  I swore I would not be that over protective mom but if I don't protect him who will?  If I had more than one little boy to send together I think it would be different.  I get the funny looks for women in the YMCA locker room and bathrooms.  I understand that he is getting too old to go with me.  But did anyone else struggle with this?  The icing on the cake was the other day when we were in Walmart and Madie announces, "I need to go potty!"  I think it is ingrained in her little body that every time we are in Target or Walmart and at the furthest place in the store away from the bathroom that she needs to go right then.  So I left my half full cart out side the bathroom and lugged all three into the restroom against Dalton's will.  I could not leave him alone outside the bathroom? I took both girls into the stall and hear Dalton out side of the stall, "T-t-tame.T-t-tame-pon. Tamepon. Hey mom what's a tamepon?"  I went three shades of red and heard another lady in a stall stiffel a giggle.  "Don't worry about it Dalton." I called from the restroom while struggling the get Madie's pants up with out her touching the toilet seat. "But mom they are selling them in this bathroom.  Is it for girls?"

I hurriedly tried to get the girls hands washed at a sink that is too tall and get out of the bathroom as fast as I can.  "Mom what are they for? What is a Tampon?" I was a blank for an answer and very embarrassed. "Please don't Dalton. It is not something for you to worry about." Then his impish smile crossed over his face starting at the corner of his little mouth as he spoke. "Oh I get it Mommy.  It is something inappropriate to talk about isn't it?"  

Ah the adventures of Motherhood!   

A Very Hard Week with a Very Good Ending

This week has been a terrible, no good very bad week that progressively just got worse as the week carried on. But this week had a very good ending!  I am not going to go into all of the details because it is over now. (Thank the Lord!) I am in qualifications to becoming a director with Mary Kay and things fell very short and we made it into the next month by the skin of our teeth.  As I frantically worked to make up the difference in our production and finish the minimums of the month, the stress of my husbands job made him crack and he took it out on the entire family.  He has since apologized and even helped me get my newest team member, but things were tense around the Koenig house this week.  This was topped off by while I was putting in a new team members order at her apartment my daughter announces that she needs to go potty.  I ran her upstairs to their bathroom thinking no one was home and not being warned that anyone was home upstairs. I  walked in on her roommates boyfriend completely naked going to the bathroom! I saw enough to know he was not dressed and escaped running back down stairs with my little one still needing to go potty.  It was a first for me in my Mary Kay career!  I ended the week while I was out running errands blowing out the side of my favorite pair of flip flops and it was heavily raining.  Then getting a speeding ticket on Thursday morning. I was so sad Tuesday nights watching all the status updates of people I knew that were at the midnight showing of Eclipse.  My girlfriends and I had purchased tickets for July 1st.  I could not justify going before June was over because I was working.  Thursday seemed so far away.  I could not wait to see the movie!  So to reward my hard work my wonderful sister-law, Jenny treated me to the early bird showing Thursday morning at 10:15 with popcorn and drink included! Or my she bought tickets to see it with my brother and he did not want to go and I was her second choice. Seeing the movie 10:15 two days after it opened was not the same vibe as seeing New Moon at the midnight showing with 2000 other anxiously waiting fans with all of their various Twilight shirts.  We sported our Team Edward shirts proudly.  But I think we were the only ones. It was fun to see it with Jenny though.  She was so sweet to think of me and wanted to see the movie with me.  She had to work and could not go with our girls group for the Thursday showing.  I love my Jenny!

Thursday night I went with the rest of my gals over to Alamo Draft House to see the movie again.  Yes, I saw Eclipse twice in one day and had two different shirts for the two viewings.   So I sported my new shirt and headed out! This theater was a restaurant and we ate during the movie.  I don't think I can go back to a regular movie theater after this. 

Stephanie had the best shirt of the night although Jasper was so good in the movie I wanted a Jasper shirt like Vanessa got. 

My thoughts on the movie will be saved for another blog post.  I wanted to feature my Twilight Home girls that made my movie experience so awesome and a fun ending to what started as a rough week.