If you can't say somthin nice......

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Phillipians 4:8If you can't say somthin' nice then don't say thin' at all

I started this new bible study with the ladies from my church two weeks ago, Becoming the Woman you Want to Be, by Donna Partow. I have been meaning to keep my thoughts about it on my blog like my friend Julie is doing, but I have not been as good at it as she has. Today's lesson (actually should have been yesterday's lesson because I am behind.) was a great lesson. It talked about how we as women (I think men too) foccus on the negative. We talk so bad to ourselves in the attitude of "humbleness". We foccus our attention on all that is wrong in our lives, wrong with our bodies and wrong with others. I am guilty of this. I look at pictures of myself or just in the mirror and I start to see all that is wrong with me. When someone compliments my kids weather it be how good they are acting or how cute they are, I feel the need to let them know what devils they are. I should just say thank you. My kids hear me say that and the more I foccus on their negative behavior I miss the good stuff about them. One thing I have tried to do in my marriage is think about the wonderful things I love about Darin. Because there have been times I can mentally work up a case against him by the time he gets home I am ready to unload and he is blindsided by it. What started from him not putting his breakfast dishes in the sink ends with an evaluation of everything he has done to irritate me for the last six month and everything his mama has done to make me mad over the years. (Don't judge me I know I am not the only woman who does that.) They say, What we think about we bring about. Our attitude is a choice. We can change how we physically feel, emotionally feel and how we see the world. You can't always just chose to be in a good mood and be in one. I have tried and it only put me in a worse one. But you can choose to work on it. Take a walk, get more sleep and feed your mind positive things. I had to stop listening to am radio. I thought it made me more informed and intelligent if I listened to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Glen Beck every day in the car. I may agree with everything they are saying but it would fire me up and get my upset and there was not anything I could do about it. It is a daily thing. Breathe in and breath out.

So after today's lesson my list of things I am going to change:

1. Get a grip on my thoughts and capture bad ones in mid thought

2. Look for ways to praise people every day.

3. Speak well of my kids and compliment them more.

4. Not call Julie every time I need to "vent" about every little thing that ticks me off

5. Laugh more. Find humor in the irritating things of life.

6. Feed my mind scripture and positive books.

7. Eat better, exersise and pray more

Why So Serious?

This is Madison Rae. ("Madie Rae") My life has changed drastically since the day I found out I was pregnant with her. She is the youngest of three. Madison is my most cuddly and loving of all three of my kids. She was the easiest baby. I thought when she was born that God had finally blessed me with an easy going child that took after her father. Her older brother and sister have personalities bigger than life and both love the spot light. I have know idea where they get it from. She was sweet and calm and slept well. Then Madison started walking at 13 months and life as I knew if changed. Madison is the most meddlesome baby I have ever seen. She can rearrange a room or completely destroy it in the time it takes me to put something away and come back. She is my little Curious George. Plus she is a girly girl and loves my shoes, purses and make up. She has destroyed my carpet in every room. You can leave absolutely nothing in her reach because she will get into it. People have a hard time believing me until they see her in action. I love her but I can't relax until she is asleep and contained in her baby bed. The bathroom is her favorite play ground. It not always easy to keep her out of it when older kids leave the door open. Did I mention she is a climber too. She likes to hang on the windowsill and use her toes to climb up the wall like Spiderman to see out. My mom thinks I laugh at my kids too much, but in situations like these it is either laugh or cry. Here is her latest mess from Sunday night. At least this was not a new tube of lipstick, at least I get it 50% off and she did not get it on the carpet. We thinks she looks like the Joker here. She came is very proud of herself and thought that she looked pretty. (I have to add Mary Kay's oil free eye makeup remover took all off.)

Dear Lord,

Let me enjoy this stage of life because I know these moments are passing so quickly. Let me laugh even when it is hard and not be so serious all the time. Carpets can be cleaned and there is always new lipstick to be bought. Thank you for this funny little girl you blessed our house with. I can't wait to watch her grow into all that you have planned for her. Then I will embarrass her with these pictures. Thank you for the smiles, the hugs and kisses and all the moments of joy that she brings.

Thoughts While Waiting for a Table on Valentine's Day

Darin and I booked a hotel and went to San Antonio for the night of Valentine's Day. I was really excited to be in the car talking to him with our putting out a fight and being interupted by our children. We got dressed up for our night out and headed over to JAlexanders in San Antonio. It was weird to be going out at 7:30 at night on a Saturday night. Our Saturday nights usually end early. We got there and there was a 2 and half hour wait for the table. It was crowded and we knew to expect this. I was happy to wait because we were out on the town unattached. There was no child to keep a constant eye on or entertain and no one needing to go potty. So we finally settled in to an available space as we waited and I settled into "people watch". Here are some of my thoughts.

1. Darin and I need to get dressed up more often because he was looking FINE and I was having fun wearing heals that I could not chase a two year old in.
2. Darin is up on the current dress up treands of todays male. He was dress like every guy there. The attire for guys 35 and younger was wild button down shirts, cut slim, pressed but untucked. Worn with dark wash jeans and black slick dress shoes. It is funny how they all had on the same uniform for a night out.
3. When did women quict wearing pantyhose? This is not what I find at my Mary Kay events. There was lots of cleevage, short skirts and high, high heals with no hose. It worked for most but some not so much.
4. I want to be a treandy mom that is up on the current fashions for teen girls when my two girls are teens. But I am not sure I want them wearing out what some of the girls were wearing out with boys.
5. The next thought is that I am not ready to have children old enough to date.
6. When did men quit being gentlemen and offer their seat to a lady when there were ladies being forced to stand? When we finally got to sit down in the waiting area I was so proud of Darin who twice gave up his seat for two ladies having to stand. Darin will train Dalton to do that as he grows. I was impressed when one young man thanked Darin for allowing his date to take his seat. Chivalry is not totally dead but things sure have changed. (I must also add I booked her for a Mary Kay facial and gave her a catalog to look at during her wait.)

Our meal was over priced, the wait was long but I loved every minute of it. I am enjoying dating Darin again. It was fun to do what we usually don't do and be out on Valentine's night.

Back to the Friday 10 list

I have missed the last two Friday's for my 10 list. One Friday I was sick and in bed and the next I guess I just forgot. But today's list is in honor of Valentine's Day. I am going to put mine and Darin's top 10 songs. We have more than one song that is "our song". So here it goes...

1. If You Could See What I See- Geoff Moore & the Distance (What Christian couple from the 90's did not have this as their song?) This is the one Kyle got to partially sing at our wedding because the sound guy screwed up the tape.

2. Grow Old Along with Me- Mary Chapin Carpenter. This song is the one I sang to Darin over our unity candle.

3. I'll Stand By You- The Pretenders. This song came out when Darin and I were dating and was my song to him.

4. Dust on the Bottle-David Lee Murphy. Brings back memories of driving around Belton when we were dating and early married.

5. Baby Blue- George Strait. This is because we had to have a George Strait song and it was his to me. Plus his truck is baby blue and that was the first thing I saw when we met on our blind date. I would look out my bedroom window on Friday's waiting for him to come home from college and run down stairs when it appeared in the driveway.

6. Your Still the One- Shania Twain. It is our story. We got married young and when I first heard it I knew the words were going to be our story.

7. Only Hope- Switchfoot. If I would have had a dance at my wedding this is the one I would have wanted to be our 1st dance.

8. Me & You- Kenny Chessnie. This song had just come out when we were dating. On our honeymoon we went to the Wild Horse Saloon. (A dance show that use to be featured on CMT. We were actually interviewed on it because we were on our Honeymoon.) He was a guest that night promoting that song.

9. Love of A Life Time- Fire House. This one because we had to have a big hair 80's band in the list so Darin had some representation.

10. I'll Be- Edwin McCain- I just love the words of this song and it is a song from Darin to me.

Hot Dates on Saturday nights

As a teen and a college student I loved Saturday night dates. I mean loved and looked forward to them. Weather it was with a boy or just my girlfriends, Saturday nights were filled with plans and meant for fun. I loved, and still do, the process of getting ready each week. Picking out the perfect outfit, throwing on some music and maticulously getting ready for the event. I still remember Darin's and my first "real date" on a Saturday night. It was our second date and he was driving in from Belton to take me out. I even bought a new shirt that day at I work, at Cavendar's. I still remember the tingles as the moments were getting closer for him to be there. With Shania Twain playing in the back ground I would catch myself frequently peeking out my bay window on looking our driveway, to look for his blue truck to appear. Then the spark of excitment when it was suddenly there. Sometimes I would catch him driving in. I would watch him slide his sunglasses off and check himself in the mirror one last time and catch a glimpse of what he was wearing or if he brought me a surprize. I also loved coming down stairs for dates to meet the waiting boy sitting on the couch and seeing his facial expressions directed at me. (One memory was, Christmas my Junior year, I pranced down the stairs in a beautiful black velvet dress to meet my waiting beau and missed a step, bouning on my rear on the last two steps.)


Darin and I have been married for almost 13 years and three kids later we have started dating again. Just the process of getting ready in my room alone brings back those tingles. (Maybe it is just the excitement of getting ready alone and the thought of dinner out with out children.) This last Saturday we were meeting Darin's parents for dinner and then grocery shopping. But I still wanted to "get ready for it." I just been given a bunch of clothes from my Mary Kay director and am still having fun creating new outfits from it. Not the fun dates of my youth but I wanted to make the best of it.


I put on a cute skirt with my favorite green shirt, only to discover that the stain on it had not come out. Switching to plan "B" which meant I had to change jewelry and fighting a two year old hands to stay out of my jewelry cabinet was just the start of my night. Then there was little girls hair to fix, finding sock and shoes for three pairs of feet and two fights to break up before we could get out the door. We tagged teamed buckling car seats and getting everyone situated. Then there was the argument of what was going to be listened to in the car on the radio. Followed by "Can we watch a movie?" and protests erupting when the answer was no. What fun!


Then we went to the most romantic of settings, Luby's. Trying to get the older two kids to make a decision about what they wanted while the less than friendly server barked choices at us. By the time it got to me I felt so rushed I picked the first thing in line and it was not on my diet. How we made it to the table with every items still on the trays was a small miricle. Lets just say an evening with three kids and a disgruntled mother in law made for an enchanting evening of dinner and stimulating conversations.



After dinner we set out on part two of the grand adventure it was off to venture into Wal-Mart. Three kids and two weeks worth of groceries to purchase was the task at hand. An hour and half later we had two carts full of groceries and three kids that had been pushed to their limits. The last leg of the project was to find a relatively short line at Wal-Mart and get the heck out of dodge. It was 8:00 and the prospect of getting the kids bathed and in bed to have some of the night left for Darin and I was a distinct possibility. Now finding a short line at Wal-Mart, on a Saturday is not always an easiest thing to accomplish. We thought we had found a stroke of luck when we found a line with one person ahead of us. So we unloaded the groceries onto the table and began the last test that parents must pass when at the check out counter....living through the "I Wants" and fits when the answer is "no". "But I've been soooo good. Can I please have a treat?" "Mom can I just have this?" Then there is the task of keeping the littlest one from standing up in the basket and dealing with the screeches that erupt when she realizes that she is buckled in. My only consolation was the fact that my loving husband was in the trenches right there with me. It was then that we realized we had picked the wrong line to get in. 15 minutes had passed and all of our groceries were unloaded and waiting to be checked and the checker was still on the lady in front of us. He was moving at a snails pace as the kids were rearranging the small toys on the bottom shelf. The littlest one had now joined them in this because her father was tired of the screams and swore he would keep a close eye on her. That is when Brighton suddenly grabbed herself and yelled, "I gotta go potty!" and started trotting crosslegged towards the bathroom. While trying to follow her I turned to Darin to tell him where I was going and I saw my 20 month old pull down her pull up and pants saying, "Potty." In a flash I jerked her pants up and swept her up in my arms all in one fluid movement. Then I had the daunting task of getting two little girls to go potty with out touching anything in the disgusting bathroom. After all was said and done it took us 40 minutes to get through the check out line. The checkers moved a speed that literally hurt my body to see how slowly he picked up, scanned and then bagging each item, one by one. It was almost 10 by the time we got home with the groceries, kids bathed and in bed. This was not the night I had envisioned for my Saturday night. My how my Saturday nights have changed.

Thankful

I have been in a funk for a week and it is getting old. I could blame it on a lot of things but none of them are a good enough reason for this blue mood. Mary Kay is going very well for me these days and Darin and I could not be better personally. I have left the church in Gods hands and my kids are my kids. Everyone has been sick in the house this last week. Dalton came down with strep last Wed. and the girls had a tummy virus. Thursday night I came down with strep and was stuck in bed. Darin was so sweet and took care of all of us. He gave me my Valentine's present early, The Box Set of Twilight, to cheer me up. He also brought me Ben & Jerry's ice cream to sooth my throat. So when I came down stairs for the first time on Saturday morning, since Thursday and saw the state of things I tried to remind myself of how wonderful he was to me. The filthy kitchen, toys all over the living room, and the mess all over the house was staring me in the face and all I could do was breath and remind myself of all that he has done for me....The dirty house did nothing to help my mood and I just began to pray. I know that being a highly Sanguine personality Satan can attack me best in my emotions and so I was trying my best to not give myself over to them. I just kept trying to take deep breaths and be realistic about all the wonderful things I have in my life. I just tried to start listing them to myself. We must appear to God like spoiled children. Like when Dalton comes to me and says, "Mom I am bored, there's nothing to do!" and he has a room full of toys and video games ect. I go to God and say "I am sad. I don't feel very blessed today." So I decided to list to myself how blessed I really am. So here is my list I came up with.
1. My family that is usually healthy and not sick
2. A wonderful servant hearted husband and who still makes my heart flutter
3. A husband who gets me completely and when he doesn't he tries to understand
4. A little boy that is so personable with people and is self assured
5. A beautiful little girl who is exactly like I pictured she would be and look like who wants to be just like me and tells everyone she is my best friend
6. Not one but two little girls. I always wanted a girl and was so worried I would not get one and got gave me two blue eyed little girls
7. A Sweet spirited little girl who loves to cuddle
8. A best friend. I finally have a best friend that calls me hers too. I get to ramble to her everyday and never worry about her getting tired of me or judging me.
9. Getting to live in New Braunfels Texas. I mean I have lived all over Texas following Darin's ministry and I get to live in New Braunfels Texas. If I could have put my finger on a map of Texas and tell God where I wanted to live this is where it would be and we are here. (We are not in Brackettville ANYMORE!)
10. My legacy in Christ. Being raised in a home where Christ was part of our lives and church was a priority. Getting to be a part of the Youth Ministry at MBC and still being close to the kids I grew up with. Our youth group was special and unique.
11. My family. My brothers who are still close to me and their wives. My parents who are the best grandparents ever to my kids.
12. A grandpa that would get not one but two cars because he knew I needed it. I mean this Thanksgivings when he drove up in my parents driveway with a white Explorer in great condition that he bought for me, then wrote me a check for the insurance for a year. How can I not feel blessed every time I drive that car.
13. A company like Mary Kay that I love and get to win a pink car. It provides a place for me to grow and be encouraged. A place where I am just Nocona. Not someones mom and not a pastor's wife but just Nocona.
14. I have great friends to do life with. I have wonderful ladies in Mary Kay that are so encouraging and fun. My birthday girls that I get to share my birthday month with and throw fun parties with. My friends that are other moms that I can vent to and get advice from.
Jenny Childress is the constant encourager and fun person.
Jenny Helm I have already blogged about.
Jill has the sweetest laugh.
Stephanie and her sweet calm spirit and giving heart.
Julie I have already talked about and mentioned.
Angie is the sweetest fun person and my spirit is lifted just getting to talk to her.
Megan has the sweetest most giving heart of anyone I know.
Becca is the wisest person that fills my life with her giving heart and grace that overflows out of her.
15. Last but not least my heavenly father. A God who is my life and my love. Who makes me more and makes me better. I don't know how people live life with out the strength and peace of the faith we have in Jesus Christ.

Then as I was listing all of these things in my head I heard my new favorite song on the radio and it was like God was speaking to me right there in the car.
Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching? As if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child, Tell me where will you run? To where will you run?
Chorus:Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall In the dead of night whenever you call Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you Look at these hands, at my side
They swallowed the grave, on that night When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in And give you life
Chorus:Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you My hands are holding you
And I, I love you And I want you to know That I, I'll love you